Secret Santa Rules: How to Play, Etiquette and Printable

What Is Secret Santa?

Secret Santa is a gift exchange for a group: friends, a family, an office, a class. Each person draws one name and becomes that person's secret gift-giver, their Santa. Instead of everyone buying something for everyone, each person buys one gift and receives one. The same game goes by other names. Wikipedia's Secret Santa article (edited December 17, 2025) lists Kris Kindle in Ireland and Kris Kringle in Canada and Australia, and Elfster's comparison of gift exchange formats (read September 27, 2026) lists Pollyanna in the Northeastern US. Who played it first is unknown.

You can draw the names from a hat, or use a free Secret Santa generator that draws them for you and gives each person a private link to their match. A party where people unwrap gifts from a shared pile and may steal each other's is a different game; see how White Elephant differs.

How Does Secret Santa Work?

Agree the budget and the date. One person organizes. They ask who wants to take part, and the group agrees one spending limit and the day of the exchange. Choose a budget everyone can manage, and leave people at least two weeks to shop, longer if gifts have to go by mail.

Draw names. With a hat, write each name on its own slip and let everyone draw one. Whoever draws their own name puts it back and draws again, and if the last person is left holding their own name, everyone starts over. You can also draw the names online, which never gives anyone themselves. An odd number of people is fine: nobody needs a partner, because each person gives one gift and gets one.

Couples and people who live together already buy for each other, so a group may want to keep couples apart in the draw. A hat can't do that without a lot of redrawing; an online draw can.

Learn your match privately. The giver stays secret, so each person sees only their own name. With a hat, read your slip away from the others and keep it to yourself. If the group is drawing online, each person opens only their own link.

Buy one gift. Stay close to the budget and pick something the person will use. A short questionnaire tells each Santa what their person likes, and some groups pick a theme, such as a book, something handmade or something local. Wrap the gift and write the recipient's name on the tag. Leave your own name off.

Exchange and reveal. On the day, the gifts go on a table or under the tree and are handed out. Some groups open them one at a time and let each person guess their Santa; others open them all at once and the Santas own up. Some never reveal at all.

An office adds a few rules of its own, such as opting in and keeping gifts work-appropriate: see Secret Santa rules for work. A family with several households and children has its own set too: see Secret Santa rules for family.

Secret Santa Rules for Kids

Children play the same game, with a few rules added by the adults running it. These work for a class, a club, a sports team or the cousins at a family party.

• A grown-up helps each child shop and keeps them to the budget. Our suggestion is a low limit, $5 to $10 for a class, so no family is stretched.
• Tell every family the same thing in writing: the budget, the date and the rules. The printable sheet below has a version for kids.
• No food or candy unless every family has said yes. Allergies are easy to miss.
• Keep the secret. A child tells nobody but their grown-up who they drew.
• Nobody goes home without a gift. The adult in charge keeps one or two spare gifts in case one doesn't arrive.
• Open the gifts together, so no child sits and waits while the others open theirs. Guessing is optional.
• Say thank you, even for a gift that isn't a favorite. Practice it before the day with younger children.

Secret Santa Rules for Friends

Friends usually know each other well, so the rules are lighter, but a few things are worth agreeing before the draw rather than after it.

• Agree the budget together, and set it at what the friend with the least to spend is comfortable with, not the average.
• Share a short wish list, or three things you like and one you don't, so every Santa has a start.
• Decide on gag gifts in advance. If joke gifts are allowed, say so; if they aren't, a joke gift makes one person's evening worse.
• Agree whether partners may draw each other. Keeping couples apart spreads the gifts around the group.
• Plan for friends who can't come. They mail their gift so it arrives before the day, or open theirs on a video call.
• Settle the reveal: guess first and then own up, or just say who you are.

Secret Santa Etiquette

Most Secret Santa trouble comes from a few habits. The organizer can head them off by putting them on the rules sheet.

• Keep the secret. Don't ask others who they drew, and don't hint at yours.
• Don't swap names on your own. If you drew someone you can't buy for, tell the organizer, who can run the draw again.
• Stay near the budget, in both directions. A gift far over the limit makes the others look small; one far under looks careless.
• Nothing about the person's body, age, weight or habits, and no jokes at their expense.
• Include a gift receipt when you can, so a wrong size can be swapped.
• Say thank you to the group, and to your Santa once you know who it was.
• Drop out early and quietly. Anyone can skip a year, and the organizer shouldn't ask why. If you drop out after the draw, tell the organizer at once: someone is buying for you, and someone was counting on your gift.

If someone goes over the budget, let it pass if it's a little. If it's a lot, the organizer can mention it privately afterward and repeat the limit next year. Nobody should be corrected in front of the group.

Secret Santa for Large Groups

With twenty or more people, the game is the same, but the organizing changes.

• Use one list and one deadline. Collect names in one place, and draw only after sign-up closes. Adding a person after the draw means drawing again.
• Draw online. A hat needs everyone in the same room at the same time, and with a big group somebody always misses it.
• Keep teams or households apart if the group wants gifts to go between them rather than within them.
• Use full names on the tags when two people share a first name.
• Open the gifts in smaller groups or all at once. One at a time works for ten people; with forty, it takes a long time.
• Collect gifts from people who won't be there ahead of the day, and set the date earlier if gifts have to be shipped.

Printable Secret Santa Rules

Choose a version, fill in the budget and the dates, and print one page to hand out or pin up. With nothing filled in, it prints with blank lines to write on. Blank copies are also here as PDFs, in US Letter and A4.

Which version?

General Kids Friends

Group name (optional)

Budget

Sign up by

Exchange date

Where and when (optional)

Questions to (optional)

Print the rules sheet

What you type stays on this page. Nothing is saved or sent.

Secret Santa Rules

Budget

Sign up by

Exchange

Where and when

Questions to

1. Taking part is optional. Sign up by the date above to be in the draw.
2. Names are drawn at random. You get one person, never yourself.
3. Keep your person a secret until the exchange.
4. Spend close to the budget: not far over, not far under.
5. Buy one gift. Wrap it and write your person's name on the tag, not yours.
6. Bring your gift on the day. If you can't come, get it to the organizer before then.
7. Open the gifts, then guess who your Santa was.
8. Say thank you, whatever you get.

1. A grown-up signs you up by the date above.
2. You draw one name. It is never your own.
3. Keep your person a secret. Only tell your grown-up.
4. Your grown-up helps you shop and stay within the budget.
5. No food or candy, because some people have allergies.
6. Wrap your gift and write your person's name on the tag.
7. Bring your gift on the day. We open them all together.
8. Say thank you, even if it isn't your favorite.

1. Sign up by the date above to be in the draw. Couples don't draw each other.
2. Share a short wish list, or three things you like and one you don't.
3. Keep your person a secret until the reveal.
4. Spend close to the budget. Joke gifts only if everyone agreed.
5. Wrap your gift and put your person's name on it, not yours.
6. Can't make it? Mail your gift so it arrives before the day.
7. Guess your Santa before they tell you.
8. Say thank you, whatever you get.

Rules sheet from secretsantanamegenerator.com, where you can also draw the names for free.